Yes, yes, we all know how the entirety of England is eight foot under water – infact, I’m typing this on my laptop in my garden, where the water is just under my armpits. Might explain why I keep on getting zapped and my hair’s all frizzy. Oh…
Floods equals water. A ton of water, at that. And a bunch of water equals…BOATS! Yes, boats big and small, yachts, dinghies, catamarans, heck even junks if your heart so desires. So what’s the best boat to zip around in in your local ‘hood, where you can deliver fresh water to that cute girl a couple of doors away? Read on below for our top five…
1.) Humdinga boat/car – yes, just like those annoying tourist-filled Duck Tours car/boat hybrids you see in London occasionally, this Humdinga works on not only the ground as a standard (well, not so standard – have you seen the picture?!) car, plus works as a boat on the water. Able to reach 40mph in its boat form and 100mph when using its wheels on the ground, it’s sadly a one-off prototype. If these floods keep up however, and enough people flood (heh) their website with requests, we may just be able to see some in the wild come next Summer!
2.) Navigator III inflatable boat – not quite as fun as the aforementioned, this inflatable boat will still work its magic when you’re forced to venture outside the soggy comforts of your home to nip down the shops or take the rubbish out. When inflated it’s three metres long, and capable of taking a 2.5-horsepower engine, although if you’re more eco-friendly (due to your newfound knowledge regarding global warming and flooding, natch), you might prefer the aluminium oars it comes with instead. Not too shabby at £299.
3.) Radio-controlled catamaran – At just 70cm, it’s not going to be able to haul your hefty ass around your neighbourhood, but it’ll definitely make the time fly by, as you race your neighbours’ catamarans down the flooded street. It’s £39.99, not too bad for something which can drive/swim/float at up to 15mph.
4.) Minicat – Just like the Navigator III I mentioned before, this mini catamaran also packs down into a rucksack, although tough luck doing so once it’s been for a whirl in the muddy water. Able to fit two people, it can be assembled in half an hour by just one person, and no tools are needed either. Be prepared to pay top dollar though, as prices start from £2,450 from Firebox.
5.) Bobin Reliant – Another sadly-unavailable boat (although you could easily build one yourself, modders!), the Bobin Reliant is made from ye olde three-wheeler of the past, the Robin Reliant. Coming with all the mod cons you’d expect these days, including rear seats, dashboard, instruments, switches, steering wheel and handbrake. But, err, none of them do anything. The best bit of the boat must be the bonnet, however, which lifts off to reveal a beer storage area. Oh yes.