Wimbledon has kicked off this week here in rainy London, and whilst I’m wearing my white Ralph Lauren-designed Wimbledon blazer today in support, I thought I’d offer a wee bit of advice to young Tim Henman, as to just how he can improve his game in order to win that coveted trophy. He better, several of us Shinies have a lot of money riding on him…
1.) Brando Wii Sports Wiimote extentions – an obvious piece of kit for Henman to splash the cash on, the tennis peripheral slots onto your Wiimote and gives you that authentic tennis experience. Considering the dismal weather of late, I’d be willing to bet he’d rather practise indoors on Wii Sports than outside in the rain. Poor (wet) boy.
2.) BT Broadband – if Henman’s not keen on living it up with his fellow ‘slebs courtside, he can always sign up for BT Broadband which will let him watch six hours a day of live coverage plus all the highlights, player interviews and even spy on his rivals with the behind the scenes footage. Wonder if he’ll spy Roger Federer reading a how-to tennis book?
3.) Sagem My700x Roland-Garros mobile phone – It may be a tad out of date at more than a year old, but this French Open-themed handset is a brilliant design. 1.3-megapixel camera, FM radio, MP3 playback and…tennis games! Just as long as he doesn’t get RSI fiddling with the small buttons whilst lobbing vollies!
4.) Robo-Pong 2040 robot – What man doesn’t love robots, really? Especially bots which fire tennis balls at you so you can do a sweet backhander and return it to the bot for another nice lob your way. Available on eBay, it’s a stiff $635.99, but it’s a nice investment, if Henman wins the trophy!
5.) Animated Retro Table Tennis Shirt – this t-shirt is just the ticket in order to blind your opponent into fouling. At only $25, the two AAA batteries animate the t-shirt so Henman’s opponent can be tricked into watching the apparel game instead of, you know, the actual game they’re playing on court.