I was in Paris last week, and on a late night drunken binge, we ventured into Quick, which was obviously the red light district’s premiere fast food joint.
I knew the Simpsons film was vaguely around the corner, but their completely Homer-fied menu quickly (heh) knocked the proximity into me. So, in ode to the Simpsons-themed ‘Long Fish’ burger, and Simpsons-fries I don’t *actually* remember eating, here’s my list of the five best Simpsons gadgets that Bart would spend his pocket-money on.
That last sentence was so wrong my mind feels like a deep-fryer now, and speaking of which…
1.) The Simpsons doughnut maker – Ignore the unappetising appeal those stale doughnuts have in the photo, when the machine only costs £24.95, and you can whack out six at once, who’s complaining? Well, apart from Tesco, who do a mean batch of five for 99p. Mmmm…doughnuts…
2.) Talking Moe’s bar alarm clock – For those days when all you want to hear upon awakening is Moe’s gravelly voice coupled with the sweet overtones of Homer’s lager-fuelled warblings, this 3D alarm clock, at $39.95, is quite simply hot to trot. There’s several choice quotes, including Moe asking “hey is Butts here, Seamore Butts? Hey everybody, I want to see more butts”, and Barney slurring “Argh! Natural light! Get it off me! Get it off me!”. Pure class, I don’t know why your bedsheets-sharer wouldn’t want it disturbing your peaceful slumber, really.
3.) Simpsons jukebox – I’m not quite sure what choons Homer would choose to listen to on this jukebox, but I’m betting if he had a recording studio, he’d knock out a rendition of that classic “oh Marge, you came and you found me a turkey, while I was away at work-y” and plant it on the ‘box. Another gizmo for our US-dwelling cousins, it’ll set you back $39.99.
4.) Simpsons talking pizza cutter, beer bottle opener and freezer mug – My doubts over finding a Simpsons-themed piece of electronical goodness which doesn’t involve automated talking are soaring. At Target, they’re flogging this ‘gift set’ (aimed at fathers, and unfamiliar generic colleagues obviously), which features a beer bottle opener which, when touching a bottle cap, plays a recorded message; a pizza cutter that does a similar deal, and a freezer mug with a nice image of Homer reaching in vain for a beer. Ahh, how our Uncles would love a generic Simpsons-themed present like this which live up to their masculine wants.
5.) Simpsons-themed Xbox 360 – One for those with mad eBay skillz, or who just so happen to know either Matt Groening or Bill Gates, these limited edition 360s will be released on the 27th of July to US-dwellers only. Bookmark the Simpsons movie website, as there’s only 100 of the loungeroom-decor-clashing babies available.
And if that wasn’t enough, Shiny Shiny have compiled their own list of Simpsons gadgets…
Simpsons movie website