Padded lampposts coming to London, for the protection of stupid text messagers
This had better be an early April Fools joke or edgy and underground viral marketing campaign, or society’s in a much worse state than we previously thought.
The East End’s fashionably run down student heartland of Brick Lane is apparently about to get padded lampposts, in order to protect “inattentive” (STUPID) pedestrians from breaking their (STUPID) faces when bumping into them while texting their “M8s.”
Brick Lane was found to have the highest occurrence rate of injuries caused by people walking into things while text messaging, hence the decision to test them out in the curry/student/tramp/ironic white plastic sunglasses heartland of London.
Charity Living Streets is teaming up with directory services company 118 118 (PR STUNT ALARM!) to trial padded posts in Brick Lane, with the hope that a successful test could lead to it appearing in other cities.
Ridiculous idea or lame attempt at a publicity stunt? Or a genuine go at protecting the knees and noses of the stupid? We’ll send someone off to Brick Lane to validate this fish-smelling-of story, once the cushions have been stapled in place.
If there are bloody 118 118 logos on them all and film crews hanging about the place, we’ll know we’ve been had.
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