Yes, it’s summer. Really. After all those weeks of frankly atrocious weather for the time of year, we’ve finally got enough sunshine for us Brits to indulge in our traditional summer pastimes of getting lobster-red ‘tans’, reporting neighbours for breaking hosepipe bans, and poisoning friends and family with poorly-barbecued chicken drumsticks. Heaven.
But wait a minute, it’s too hot! We’re never satisfied. But Tech Digest is here to help, with five gadgets you can buy right now to help you through the heatwave. Spend £554.82 on these, and you’ll be cool as a particularly-cool cucumber.
1. Maytag Handy Chiller (£59.99 from Drinkstuff)
This gizmo (above) claims to be the fastest way to chill drinks, being 40 times quicker than a freezer. It can cool cans in one minute, wine in three and a half minutes, and it can ‘super cool’ bottles in six minutes. All it needs is ice and water to work its cooling magic. Get it
2. Large Swiss Propeller Fan (£110 from IWOOT)
When the sun’s in full swing, you can’t mess about with fancy gadgets. What you need is a bluddy great big fan. And the good thing about this particular one is that it’s super quiet, so you don’t have to get used to an incessant whine while using it. It’s made of polished zinc, aluminium and steel, has three speed settings, and can apparently shift 3,000 m3 of air an hour. None of your friends will find this statistic as fascinating as you do, be warned. Get it
3. Magimix GEL22003 Gelato Chef Ice Cream Maker (£264.89 from Deluxe Product)
Ice cream! It’s God’s own icy snack. At least, it is when he can be bothered to send the Angel Gabriel down to the local 24-hour garage to get some. Avoid that dilemma by shelling out for a top-notch ice cream maker. The Gelato Cgef 22003 might be pricey, but it’s worth it – not least because it’s got a built-in freezer, allowing you to chuck in ingredients and 20 minutes later tuck into delicious ice creamy goodness. Plus, it comes with a 128-page recipe book so you’re not stuck with vanilla and chocolate. Yum. Get it
4. Husky Guinness Beer Fridge (£99.99 from Amazon)
I can’t understand why it’s not socially acceptable to keep a beer fridge under your work desk. You’d think managers would have a care for the health of their employee’s parched throats in the summer. For shame. Still, if your boss is more understanding, get this Guinness fridge, which can hold up to FORTY cans. Don’t drink ’em all at once. Get it
5. Tarantula Water Gun (£19.95 from Firebox)
The quickest way to cool off in summer, of course, is to squirt yourself in the face with a powerful water pistol. Really, it is. Or get someone else to, if you’re a bit chicken to pull the trigger that close up. The Tarantula can fire a stream of water from 30 feet away, firing for over a minute at a time. Buy one, then suggest a park-based waterfight with your work colleagues. They’ll be soaked, you’ll be hated. Everyone wins. Get it