A letter to George Harrison, Nintendo's recently-resigned Senior Vice President of Marketing


georgeh6.jpg Dear George Harrison,

Not you, glorious Beatles guitarist, back in your box you go. Err, grave. You, Mr. Harrison, you of Nintendo-fame. Yes, you, who just resigned as Ninty’s Senior Vice President of Marketing after 15 long years at the company. I’ve got a few little things I want to talk to you about, so better grab a chair and a nice stiff drink. Yes, one for me too, atta boy.

There’s been lots of rumours the past few months about you resigning from the company possibly due to your hesitance at moving the family from Washington to your new sales and marketing division in Redwood City, California. All very noble, wanting to put the interests of your family before those of Reggie and co. at Nintendo, but really, George, slightly disappointing behaviour I have to say.

This is, after all, Nintendo, a fact of which you don’t seem to be thinking about. Remember Nintendo? They of the wildly popular Wii? Let alone the DS, Gamecube, and past consoles. How could you walk away from those decades of grandeur?!

And to announce your ‘early retirement’ to all of the Nintendo of America employees by leaving a company-wide voicemail message? Um, just a bit tacky, and insensitive. After all, you’re a man everyone looks up to, and admires, the fact that you’re leaving the company will be hard for some to deal with.

Calls to national helpline charities and counselling sessions will quadruple after your announcement, guaranteed.

We need you, quite frankly, George. You’re the Senior Vice President of Marketing. If anyone can fix Nintendo’s image, you can. Longterm Ninty gamers are feeling a little ostracised and left-behind with your current revamp of the company, aiming the Wii and DS at ‘casual’ gamers, including kids, family, and the elderly.

Those of us who can remember the days when the SNES reigned over the after-school hours really need you. You need to quit pumping out all the embarassing adverts for the Wii where people of all genders, ages and races are gleefully waving the Wii-mote around their heads as if it’s a fly swat, and remember the people who got your company to where you are in the first place.

Without us loyal gamers, who saved up their pocket money for the N64 and actually looked forward to long car trips as it meant a few good quality hours alone with the Gameboy, you wouldn’t be selling the millions of Wii and DS units you are now. Please, George, get back in your cushty Marketing chair and have another stab at reinventing the wheel, and making us old-time Ninty fans feel loved again.

And whilst I’ve got a few precious moments of your time here, and I’ve fuelled you with my extra-strong vodka and orange mixers, want to get a bit loose-lipped and tell me your plans for your future? Because you can’t be older than 50, although the only photo the internet has seen of you pretty much is from back in the GameCube days, so a retirement seems a little hasty.

Have you perhaps cooked something up with ex-Sony CEO Ken Kutaragi and the ex-Corporate Vice-President of Microsoft’s Xbox 360, Peter Moore? Sure, the latter may have said he’s gone to EA Sports, but with three big-wigs from the three big gaming companies all at loose ends…maybe it’s time to collaborate, create some huge gaming console to RULE THE WORLD?!

Just no corny multi age/gender/race PR shots again, please Georgey-boy! How about reality – photos of pimply teens and over-30s crouched in their loungerooms or bedrooms, empty Monster Munch packets and bottles of Ribena strewn everywhere?


(via Game | Life at Wired)

Related posts

Viva Piñata to start growing Piñatas in Nintendo DS’s gardens
Shiny Video Review: The Nintendo Wii, Sony PS3, Xbox 360, Nintendo DS and Sony PSP pitted against one another
Martha Stewart gives her seal of approval to the Nintendo Wii in Wired Magazine

Katherine Hannaford
For latest tech stories go to TechDigest.tv