VIDEO: Energy & Efficiency, season finale

I’ve done it. I’ve taken the final step. The final solution. The ultimate energy-saving measure! Never again will I consume a Watt of electricity or burn an ounce of carbon.

I am a zero-energy man. I am FREE from the SHACKLES of energy use. You hear that, Southern Electric? I’ve cancelled my direct debit.

I can now relax. And sleep. Although it gets a bit cold to sleep at night…

VIDEO: Energy & Efficiency, Christmas Special!

Christmas greetings to one and all! You’re probably all a bit financially ruined from spending so much money on Christmas food and presents right now, even with Woolworths virtually giving away all of its stock – and I’m here to help!

Christmas Day is one of the most energy-intensive days of the year, what with demand for power from cooking equipment, entertaining the family and the like, so here are a few tips on how to have an efficient Christmas. You can have a happy holiday AND save energy while doing so…

And my energy saving tip for New Year’s Eve? Drink a small bottle of vodka at home…

VIDEO: Energy & Efficiency, episode 11

LCD, plasma, CRT, OLED – whatever television technology you currently use, they all have one thing in common – they use loads of electricity. Sure, it’s great having the light and company on these cold winter evenings, but at what price? Too much!

So, here I’ll show you how to watch TV for FREE. You save energy, the world carries on for a bit longer before becoming a burned-out husk full of cockroaches and everyone gets to enjoy guilt-free, environmentally-sound television.

This system works best if you live in a packed area of low-rise housing…

Energy & Efficiency, episode 10

By simply making a few changes to how we live our daily lives, it’s possible to save energy – and therefore also money and the world.

In a system I’m calling the Modern Energy Efficient Lifestyle (2.0) I shall outline two simple techniques designed to get mankind more in synch with the planet and therefore assure the survival of both man and environment. Here’s how.

To summarise – go to bed at 4.30pm tonight…

VIDEO: Energy & Efficiency, episode 9

Winter. A terrible time for energy waste, thanks to women always being cold and needing the heating on, plus it’s dark so the only things to do are watching TV and going on the internet. AND you have to have the lights on. It’s a terrifying period of BIG SPENDING on utility bills. If only there was some way to SAVE MONEY and ENERGY during the winter months…

There is! Allow me to introduce the concept of Human Hibernation. It’s insanity that we bother being awake during the boring winter, so I propose a Human Hibernation period from November to March. It’s worked successfully in the animal kingdom for decades – so let’s follow their example and activate hibernate.

Christmas will have to be moved to Easter to accommodate human hibernation, but that’s the only downside…

VIDEO: Energy & Efficiency, episode 8

Today’s energy saving tip is to do with the vacuum cleaner. The common ‘Hoover’ is a massive drain of electricity, regularly sucking up POUNDS AND POUNDS worth of your electricity and therefore also the very fabric of planet Earth. But! You can stop this from happening! You can vacuum AND SAVE!

Watch my exclusive video on making your own, free, energy efficient vacuum cleaner out of household equipment to learn how…

You are not allowed to steal this idea. It is MY IDEA. I’ve emailed a rough outline of the concept to Sir James Dyson, the vacuum cleaner tycoon…

VIDEO: Energy & Efficiency, episode 7

Today I take a look at energy saving light bulbs. Sure, we’ve all replaced our old fashioned coal-powered light bulbs with new, efficient nuclear models to save money and/or the world – but now what? Is that it? Is there no more energy to be saved?

Yes! There is lots more energy to be saved! Allow me to tell you how to reduce your electricity bills further still, thanks to a little invention I’m calling “No Light bulbs.”

I can only apologise for the poor picture quality. It’s not a joke, I just cleaned the lens

VIDEO: Energy & Efficiency, episode 6

Today I will reveal how you can save POUNDS by recharging all your gadgets for FREE! Yes, that’s right. For free. How can this be done? Have I invented something? Have I learned how to harness the awesome power of the sea? Have I mastered cold fusion in my fridge?

Or am I just lying to get attention? You’ll have to watch the below video to find out, as there’s no point me saying what the secret to a lifetime of free electricity is here if I’ve spent ages doing a video about it. That’s not how it works.

So there you go. I’m typing this using electricity I didn’t have to pay for…

VIDEO: Energy & Efficiency, episode 5

It’s bad enough having to wash your clothes, but when the washing process sucks up vast piles of water and electricity and costs you money it’s downright INFURIATING!

Which is why today’s tip addresses how to get your washing machine working for you. Make it more efficient, get it running better while saving money AND the environment in the process. It’s a complete no-brainer!

Can anyone recommend a good plumber…