It’s not quite freezing someone and then waking them up thousands of years into the future, but it’s getting there. Scientists in Japan have successfully cloned a mouse that has lain frozen for 16 years. It raises the possibility of cloning other animals who’ve been frozen for hundreds or thousands of years – resurrecting extinct mammals.
The authors of the study are doubtful, however. They point out that it would be impractical to resurrect a mammoth, for instance, because there are no live mammoth cells available, and the ‘genomic material’ in something frozen for that long is ‘inevitably degraded’. Damn. I was looking forward to a pet pygmy mammoth.
(via ABC News)
According to some scientist, humans have stopped evolving. This means we’re not going to get any better – at least not naturally.
So I propose science steps in to make us better, seeing as Mother Nature can’t be bothered any more. Here’s how. These are the evolutionary steps scientists need to introduce to our gene pool ASAP.
1. SIDE EYES
Seeing as our ears are always in use listening to MP3s of 1980s cover versions, it’s hard to hear cars, bicycles and lorries coming toward you. I therefore suggest moving our eyes to the sides of our heads, like horses, so we’re less likely to step out in front of buses because we can’t hear them coming. You never hear about horses never get run over because they’re too busy listening to the new Oasis album to listen out for cars, do you?
2. WIDER EAR CANALS
Dunno about you, but my ear holes are never big enough to accommodate all these so-called “in ear” earphones. You know, the ones you’re supposed to ram right in. I ram them in so hard it hurts and my brain pops, yet they still fall out after three minutes when the cable snags on my shirt. I therefore suggest we evolve wider ear holes for better audio clarity and comfort “on the go”…
It is sequencing the DNA of a potato.
The Potato Genome Sequencing Consortium, who we would very much like to work for, reckons it will have the white potato perfectly sequenced by 2010, which will help with things like making them grow in the apocalyptic desert wastelands of the future.
It’s not an easy task – even something as seemingly simple as a potato is made up of 840 million DNA pairs. One pair tells it how thick the skin is. One pair tells it what leaves to grow. Another pair is in charge of telling it to grow the potatoes underground instead of on branches…
If your faithful old mongrel is starting to get a bit wobbly on his legs and is going off his food, rip out a lump of its hair and head to South Korea – where “dog cloning” is a genuine service.
Two competing South Korean labs offer the chance to recreate a dog for anything between $50k and $100k, although, of course, this isn’t just so Paris Hilton can keep the same puppy…
Yes, they thought his MP3 player was a gun. They thought a 28-year-old mechanic’s MP3 player was a gun, when he took it out of his pocket to change tracks at a bus stop.
It was a “black Philips” music player, so he certainly deserved a warning to buy superior model in future – but getting held by armed cops and having his DNA and fingerprints taken is going a little too far…
This will be useful. You’ll be able to see them from further away, which means it’ll be easier to ignore the arrogant little creatures.
But that’s not what a bunch of crazy South Korean scientists had in mind when inventing the luminous feline. Apparently, their mucking about in the laboratory…