The top secret Warm Intimate Massager SEX MACHINE from Philips will be going on sale in the UK later this month, according to business reports from The Times.
Aimed at couples, the baffling and as-yet-unseen gadget will be “nonpenetrative” for your enhanced comfort, available in single and double configurations (TOP TIP: Don’t use the word “configurations” during sex, it always kills the mood), with the double version coming with – get this! – three rechargeable electric candle lights to ‘enhance the mood’ and make you feel like you’re Julia Roberts and he’s a younger Richard Gere.
“We were looking for products that wouldn’t replace one or the other partner. With more targeted products one partner feels left out,” said Sheila Struyck, head of innovation at Philips, when explaining the thinking behind the couples’ toy. It is, we think, what Philips is hoping will become the iPod of wanking gadgets.
Expect light-hearted news items about vibrators to start popping up on mainstream news channels later this week, as the Philips publicity machine slowly and relentlessly throbs to a climax and everyone tries to get Trevor McDonald to have a go on one.
(Via The Times)
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