The 20 hottest console games at E3 2007 – Haiku style

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E3 is underway in Santa Monica, and there are hundreds of hot new games on show. So what better way to summarise the best ones than via the medium of Haiku. Don’t be giving me your nit-picking about any missed syllables or the fact that Haiku are supposed to be about nature, not video-games either. Really. Read on.

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DANCE DANCE REVOLUTION UNIVERSE 2 (Xbox 360)
Much crazy dancing
Online play is included
Best graphics ever

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WII MARIO KART (Wii)
Mario and chums
Finally drive onto Wii
Multiplayer, yes!

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METAL GEAR SOLID 4: GUNS OF THE PATRIOTS (PS3)
Solid Snake is back
Looking a bit old and frail
Still handy with guns

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MARIO & SONIC AT THE OLYMPIC GAMES (Wii)
Two gaming legends
One fat, one blue and speedy
Helluva combo

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BOOGIE (Wii)
EA disco game
Their first exclusive Wii game
Bring your own afro

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SIM CITY SOCIETIES (PC)
All-new Sim City
Culture key to your success
Plus economics

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SCENE IT? (Xbox 360)
Quiz for movie buffs
Includes cool new controllers
Like the ones in Buzz

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ROCK BAND (Multi)
Instrument-tastic!
Play guitar, bass, drums and sing
Make a great racket

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GRAND THEFT AUTO IV (Multi)
More shooty driving
Not PS3 exclusive
Should have great music

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HALO 3 (Xbox 360)
Master Chief returns
Already seen in beta
Customised console

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NIGHTS (Wii)
Sega classic adventure
Few know it from the Saturn
But they do love it

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KILLZONE 2 (PS3)
Amazing graphics
It’s been a long time coming
Lives up to the hype

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WII FIT (Wii)
Keep fit with your Wii
Balance board accessory
Burn those calories!

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BEAUTIFUL KATAMARI (Multi)
Ball-rolling madness
More strange objects to pick up
Deserves to be huge

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GUITAR HERO III (Multi)
Slash is in this one
The G’n’R guitarist
Rawk! Rawk! Rawk! Rawk! Rawk!

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PIRATES CONSTRUCTIBLE STRATEGY GAME (PC)
Pop-up pirate game
Pillage your friends’ ships online
While yo-ho-hoing

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TIME CRISIS 4 (PS3)
Shoot the things that move
Okay, and the things that don’t
Just shoot, understand?

And the ones I don’t have screenshots for…

INFAMOUS (PS3)
Made by Sucker Punch
They made the Sly Cooper games
Has superheroes

GRAN TURISMO 5 PROLOGUE (PS3)
Remember this one?
Will keep car fans chuffed for months
With lots of tuning

ECHOCHROME (PS3)
Purdy download game
Interesting stick-man graphics
Sounds like a bargain

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Stuart Dredge

One thought on “The 20 hottest console games at E3 2007 – Haiku style

  • Possibly THE best Tech Digest post ever. Yes, even better than the Russian girls smashing up Powerbooks.

    Jack Kerouac would be envious of your mad haiku skillz!

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