Lightsaber umbrella – turning Jedis into Stormtroopers


The answer you’re looking for is no. No, you can never have enough Star Wars themed merchandise – certainly not in rainy old England where not even a Jedi mind trick can prevent a downpour.

Instead, equip yourself with the £19.99 lightsaber umbrella. It’s got three internal LEDs, which light up the shaft when you hit the button, but, sadly, you’ll have to make all the sound effects yourself – probably quite fun when you’re cutting through all the pedestrain traffic.

Three AAA batteries are not included, which is a shame because that’s what it require to work, and the whole thing is 84cm long. Suitable for those 12 and over apparently.

You know, I don’t think I can use the word “shaft” with a straight face any more. How did you fair reading it?


Smokin' in the rain under the Smoker's Umbrella


With the ban on smoking indoors chasing determined puffers outdoors in all weathers, the appeal of this brolly can’t be denied. Not only will you be devastatingly popular as a rain-shelter, the clip-on ashtray and tasteful “smoking song” titles make for great conversation starters. *waggles eyebrows*

Forget the CD single, start buying the CD ringle, says Sony

CD singles. Has anyone actually bought one since 1997 when Steps’ ‘5,6,7,8’ was released?! Seems the music industry shares similar thoughts on CD singles, as they’ve suddenly come up with a no-brainer – CD single ringtones, dubbed ‘ringles’. Errr…

Those clever chaps at Sony BMG Music Entertainment, obviously desperate for The Next Big Thing, invented the idea, and Universal Music Ground are the first out of the pen in delivering the goods…