That’s right, ladies and gentlemen – Forrest Gump will be pressing the big red button when the Large Hadron Collider comes back on in June, potentially dooming us all into getting sucked into a vast black hole. If I do end up ending my life in that way, I’ll be a little happier knowing that it was all Tom Hanks’ fault.
In a scene right out of Blackpool’s Christmas Lights, a Hollywood actor will be taking precedence over the world’s biggest and brightest minds to switch back on the massive, costly, science experiment that was switched off shortly after it was turned on, following a massive plasma leak.
Seriously, though – why Tom Hanks? It’s not like they need the publicity that a Hollywood star will bring to the proceedings. In fact, his presence only detracts from the event, and makes whoever booked him look very foolish indeed. I don’t have anything against Hanks, in fact I enjoy his work, but seriously – in big gold, shining letters – WHY?