When videogames hit tabloid headlines it is usually because they're being blamed for a horrific stabbing and inspiring homicidal tantrums; so what could the widely applauded Wii Fit title on the incredibly family-friendly Nintendo Wii have done to earn this week's withering attack from 'experts'? It allegedly called a little girl 'fat'. Dun dun DUUUUUUUUUNNNNN!
A nine year old girl from somewhere in the south east, described by her father as "a perfectly healthy, 4ft 9in tall 10-year-old who swims, dances and weighs only six stone", was considered to be fat when her BMI was measured by the Balance Board.
She is said to be "devastated" by the game's analysis and obesity experts have now condemned the Wii Fit title and called for Nintendo to publish a warning for parents.
I can just see it now... Warning: Wii Fit may be inclined to call your precious little angel a fat filthy pig; sweat that blubber off little piggy, SWEAT!
Tam Fry of the National Obesity Forum said "I'm absolutely aghast that children are being told they are fat." He also called for children to be banned from playing the game.
Actually, that's a superb idea. Ban the fat ones from playing! Then they'll only want to play it more and - bob's your uncle - no more fat kiddies. The man is a genius.
Actually, the main complaint is that BMI, which is really all the Wii Fit Balance Board can work with, isn't really the most accurate or effective method of gauging obesity. If you put an 18 stone body-builder on there, it's going to call him (or her) a fatty fat fatso as well. The problems only gets worse when it comes to kids. Luckily, we humans have these things called 'eyes', which let us decide for ourselves whether a person is jiggling ball of flab or just, y'know, built like a brick shithouse.
Lesson here: don't trust a poxy console accessory to give you health advise. This may come as a surprise but it is not a fitness instructor or health professional.
A Nintendo spokesman has offered an apology "to any customers offended by the in-game terminology" and is rumoured that in Wii Fit 2 the language will be more sensitive when classifying a player's BMI status, using words like 'Huggable', 'Prosperous', 'Stout', 'Rotund' or 'Portly'.