Tokyo Flash Kisai Denshoku – still purely ornamental


Let’s be honest about Tokyo Flash watches. They’re a conspiracy by Japanese people to undermine Western culture by making sure that nobody knows what the time is – ever. The Kisai Denshoku, here, and its buddies are designed to look irresistibly appealing but completely useless as chronographs.

There’s some nonsense about the number of bars representing hours – most likely hours until the West’s self-destruction through enforced disorganisation – but I don’t buy it for a minute, or second or whatever units they want to represent. The clever part is we get to pay them for the privilege. £163.70 and you too can speed the revolution. Fool.

Tokyo Flash

Tokyo Flash dazzles us yet again with the Scramble and Progression watches


Being a fan of Tokyo Flash’s awesome otaku cred, I couldn’t resist showing you these two new designs from the Japanese wrist-lovers’ new series for Summer, Nekura.

Scramble, the left design, lets you choose the LED colour you prefer, with blue, green, cyan, red, pink or orange all on offer, but that doesn’t mean you have to say goodbye to all the other shades, as it still rotates them occasionally. The twelve outside blocks indicate the hour, with the eleven inner blocks…

Quit waiting around for the hoverboard, jump on yesterday's dream technology today – MP4 video watches


MP4 watches! It’s basically the technology we thought we’d be using by now, back in 1996. “Imagine the day you can – how’s this for laughs, Doogie – watch video on your wristwatch! Oh man, imagine that! Porn on your wrist!”

Porn, indeed. Feast your eyes on these seven contraptions that will not only give your wrist a strange sweaty odor when you take it off each night, but allow you to watch MP4s on the move as well. Oh, and tell the time too I suppose

1.) Firebox watch (top left) – with 2GB of storage capacity, not only can you watch movies on its 1.5″ 260K OLED screen, but also listen to MP3s and view photos. Charging is completed by plugging the watch into your USB slot on your PC, giving you eight hours of video playback. £59.95.

2.) Vavolo watch (middle left) – as with the Firebox watch, it’s got 2GB of memory, and allows for video playback and photo-viewing on the 128 x 128 pixel screen. MP3 and WMA playback is also a feature, as is digital recording. $99.99…