A bitter pill to swallow: Scientists give mice effort-free exercise

Lazy bastards and fatties rejoice – scientists in California have gone and created a pill that does all the hard work of exercise for you, helping you lose weight AND get fitter. Great news, yeah? Well, no.. Because before you get all excited and go mad ordering an extra large stuff-crust pizza in celebration – you should probably note that the pill only works on mice.

Apple to astound world (maybe) by SHUFFLE-ing 1,000 songs (maybe)

Apple scientists have gone mad and achieved the unthinkable, say 'multiple sources'.

That's right.. According to 'insiders', boffins in California have struggled and strained to create the unimaginable by redesigning the Apple iPod Shuffle to support a mighty 4Gb of solid-state hard drive space. Amazed, huh? Well, I'm not surprised. The current series of iPod Shuffles struggle to push past the maximum limit of a piffling 2Gb – so for this rumour to be true – well, it redefines time, space, life and everything.

Like horror films? Well, make one at home, with the Wi-Fi Inter-Oral Dental Camera.

Remember the scene in the film Marathon Man where Laurence Olivier’s Nazi dentist ‘mines for gold’ in Dustin Hoffman’s non-anetheatised mouth? Well I do. I still get the sweats just thinking about it. In fact, i’ve been a confirmed odontophobe ever since my own Nazi dentist decided it was a jolly wheeze to rip out four of my teeth, then cement sharp metal braces to the rest.

Which is why i greet the new Wi-Fi Inter-Oral Dental Camera like the piece of hellish equipment it absolutely is. The company blurb says that it’s a great new ‘scientific tool’ for peering in your pie-hole, with ‘a high 1.3 mega-pixel camera lens’ at the end of the probe which allows you to get really up-close-and-personal on your lovely little toothy-pegs. Or for that matter: any other cavity you’re curious to search. The mind boggles.