5 reasons guinea pigs are better than the iPhone 6

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The iPhone 6 has been out for almost a month now and yet some people remain unconvinced that the new gadget is really the best thing ever. In fact – some superior products go back tens of thousands of years. Here’s five reasons why the guinea pig is better than the iPhone 6.
[/nextpage] [nextpage title=”Next”] 1) Portability

Whilst most guinea pigs have a larger over all footprint than the iPhone 6, they do have added portability in that they can propel themselves without needing to be carried. You can even wirelessly tether them by mounting some food in your pocket – then as you move around, your guinea pig will follow too.
[/nextpage] [nextpage title=”Next”] 2) Longevity

There’s a new iPhone released every single year, which can make it very expensive to always have an up-to-date phone. Guinea pigs on the other hand can last anywhere between 4 and 8 years without upgrade – and clever learning algorithms in their processors mean that the longer you keep your guinea pig, the smarter it will get.
[/nextpage] [nextpage title=”Next”] 3) Ringtones

Whilst the iPhone 6 only comes with a limited selection of dull ringtones, guinea pigs generate their tones dynamically, meaning no two cries are exactly the same. Guinea pigs also have semantic contextual response technology built in – meaning that notifications on the presence of food, or the presence of a rival are easily distinguishable.
[/nextpage] [nextpage title=”Next”] 4) Subscription-based entertainment

On the iPhone, if you want to download new content through iTunes you have to pay for each individual piece of entertainment, but guinea pigs operate on a subscription mechanism, whereby if you continue to regularly buy food, hay and sawdust, you get access to unlimited entertainment from your guinea pig. And whilst the learning curve for guinea pigs can be relatively steep, they can be enjoyed by all members of the family without requiring any technical know-how.
[/nextpage] [nextpage title=”Next”] 5) Available in multiple sizes and colours

Apple has only just cottoned on to the idea that consumers like their toys in different configurations. Guinea pigs, on the other hand have had this ability for years – with each guinea pig custom designed. Whilst the iPhone 6 is available only in three colours: silver, gold and space grey, guinea pigs are available in a wide range of colours. Popular models of guinea pig include the lemon agouti and lilac silkie, but thousands of more are available.

Similarly, whilst Apple has only just released an iPhone phablet, Capybara (The Guinea Pig 6 Plus) have been available for almost as long as guinea pigs.
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James O’Malley