It’s the year 2000 AS (After Steve) and two armies are at war – fighting over the sacred ground at Cupertino. What’s being disputed is an ancient schism in the Apple religion… which faction is the true successor to Steve? Which side is really following his commandments better?
The schism was caused by Steve’s death. Just over a year after Steve sent down a tablet that would change the world, he died and things became a little too ambiguous. The ancient scribes at Trusted Reviews recorded it contemporaneously.
On the one hand, there was the Isaacson sect, who believed that Steve really did mean for Apple to produce a full Apple TV set – apparently telling Isaacson “I’d like to create an integrated television set that is completely easy to use” in one of his last interviews.
On the other hand, there were the Yukari Kane followers – a breakaway sect that tweeted their 95 theses – the gist of which was that Steve never intended for Apple to manufacture a TV set.
The Kanenites – as they became known – followed not just the iBook of Jobs, but another, newer testament that is regarded as blasphemous by Isaacson followers. Haunted Empire: Apple After Steve Jobs was published in March 2014, only a few years after Steve’s death. This argued the heresy that in Steve’s final year, during a conclave of his top 100 executives and managers, when asked about his desire for a full Apple TV set, he answered an unambiguous “No”.
The text goes on to claim that Jobs explained “TV is a terrible business. They don’t turn over and the margins suck”.
There doesn’t appear to be any end in sight for this latest sectarian violence – though moderate voices on both sides are calling for compromise, by recognising the Apple TV set top box as a half-way between the two polarised worldviews.