So long, internet: BBC One to be streamed online

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Did you enjoy having the web? It sure has been a hoot having it around. I’m certainly going to miss it. We’d better get the most of it while we can, now that the BBC has decided to bring it crashing to its knees.

The Beeb, in a reckless act it would probably call ‘innovation’ or something, is planning to make its main channel BBC One available to watch via the internet by the end of the year. It will also relaunch its website and improve its listings at the same time.

As if iPlayer wasn’t enough. Those poor, hard-working, down-trodden Internet Service Providers are already fighting a losing battle, as thousands upon thousands of people flock the BBC’s existing on-demand site.

All those downloadable episodes of Eastenders are now clogging the internet’s arteries like balls of sticky web fat. Greedy viewers, guzzle their greasy plates of internet bandwidth – why don’t they know that the internet is for forwarding office jokes and avoiding people from your primary school. Not for, y’know, using – that’s what PIRATES do. And you’re not a pirate are you?

BBC Three is already being simulcast on the website, but the impact of its deadly web poison has surely been lessened because it’s only watched by a handful of student layabouts.

BBC (via Webuser)

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