Top 10 new words we learnt from spam poetry this week

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Spam poems are the new Shakespeare. Not in the sense of providing a timeless illumination of the human condition (at least, not yet). But more in the sense of inventing marvellous new words that are sure to be in the Oxford English Dictionary in a couple of centuries time. Trouble is, those pesky spam filters mean most people don’t get to read spam poems any more, so end up with a limited vocabulary. Read on for our pick of the bunch – learn them all, and you’ll be acclaimed as a nutter genius!

1. hondurascasual
The next big fashion trend among London’s Trendy MediaFolk. What they’re wearing on the streets of Tegucigalpa now will soon be commonplace in Soho bars. Probably.

2. mushraking
It’s a snowy Winter’s morning, you forgot to buy a shovel, so are having to improvise with other garden tools to clear your drive.

3. schlierenspurge
Hot new genre of German erotica, we’d tell you what’s involved, but it would explode your corporate firewall…

4. aminobenzoiccontemporaneous
Essentially meaningless, but that won’t stop it being used in the first five pages of the next Will Self novel.

5. anaerobicmethane
Uncontrollable results of a heavy exercise session on the treadmill just after eating a healthy lunch of beans / cabbage / beer.

6. slipperinteresting
Nope, sorry, don’t buy it. Slippers are NEVER interesting. Even in the shape of Disney characters.

7. modestbomb
"It’s all down to luck really, I can’t take the credit. The nice airman chap presses a button and there I go. He does all the hard work, I just explode on impact. Any fool could do it…"

8. lamplogical
As in ‘it is logical that even if you’re supposedly FIFA’s second best footballer in the world, during a World Cup every shot you strike will balloon miles over the bar.

9. disgustinglovely
Term used when someone sends you a link to an image so debauched, sick and twisted that your brain flips and thinks it’s art.

10. dodecahedralromp
Threesomes are so eighties – the new thing in the swinging set (and footballers) is twelvesomes, apparently.

Stuart Dredge

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