Five ways London can improve on the US Apple iPhone launch

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Ok, so that bloke might have queued for five days in New York. But it was in June. I’d like to see him pull of the same trick in freezing wintry London when we get our iPhone launch.

So come on Apple, Microsoft, whoever, a few crap Steve Jobs impersonators (sorry but I cannot get over how crap they were) won’t be enough to tempt me out of the pub. If you want to recreate a bit of that razzmatazz our transatlantic cousins are so good at here are a few suggestions.

1 Turn the launch into a reality TV show – Think about it – a geek Big Brother. Get the people in the queue to do tasks and then get to nominate who has to go to the back and start again. A few nasty tricks like insisting they all have to sleep in the same sleeping bag would be great. Also imagine all those amazing discussions about OS X apps the queuers could have – now they really would pull in the viewers.

2 Up the celeb count – The celeb count stateside has been rubbish. I mean where’s Bono? He’s practically married to Jobs and has a property or two in New York, so you would have thought he’d be good for a swift busk of Beautiful Day to entertain the queuers.

Jordan, Vinny Jones, Cheggers – now they really could turn the iPhone UK launch into a party. Beckham and Henry playing keepie up in the store would be good too.

3 Comedy Bill Gates impersonators – Pretending you are a Star Wars Steve Jobs just won’t cut it in the UK. Nope an angry looking Bill Gates would be much more entertaining. Even better get Paul and Harry doing their double act.

4 Dom Jolly wandering round shouting into a giant iPhone. Now that would be cool.

5 Smoking sections – By then there’ll be a lot of smokers very grateful for a nice warm place to indulge their habit

Excited about the iPhone? Don’t forget to bookmark Tech Digest’s iPhone Launch Liveblog then, which will be covering the launch from 8pm GMT tonight.

Ashley Norris