Tuesday Top Ten: Reasons to hate Microsoft's Zune

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It was the consumer technology industry’s worst kept secret for months. It was supposedly Microsoft’s iPod-killer. And now Zune has been unveiled, the reaction has been… decidedly mixed. Which appears to make it the marmite of the personal media player world. And while there are plenty of bloggers and IT hacks out there who are always happy to  be rude about Microsoft, it does seem there are some legitimate criticisms of the new device.

With that in mind, here’s Tech Digest’s 10 Reasons To Hate Zune. Don’t worry, we’ll have 10 Reasons To Love Zune on Thursday. Stick the boot in, then cuddle up. It’s called tough love. Anyway, on with the kicking.

1. Only 30GB of storage space. With Apple having just released an 80GB iPod, Microsoft comes across as a little bit stingy. How are we going to fit our 50GB of illegally downloaded Hollywood blockbusters onto it?

2. Name ambiguity. Do I pronounce it Zyoon or Zoon? Until someone gives me a definitive answer, I’m sure as hell not walking into Currys to be patronised by some twerp who can’t wait to correct me.

3. Who wants Wi-Fi sharing anyway? Especially when it’s 30-second song samples, and only of stuff you’ve bought from the official Zune store. I don’t want to spend every bus journey fending off requests from kids who want to send me their latest Lady Sovereign mash-up. EDIT: See comments for correction to this point.

4. The brown Zune. I mean, brown. Jesus.

5. Another closed ecoysystem. So let me get this straight, will the songs I buy from the Zune store work if I buy another MP3 player in the future? Or will I have to buy them for the third time, having already repurchased all the ones I already got on iTunes?

6. Wot no games? I thought this was supposed to be Xbox in the palm of your hand. Swizz! Yes, I know this may be the rumourmongers’ fault rather than Microsoft’s. But still.

7. It’s not that stylish. And if this is supposed to be an iPod-slayer, isn’t it duty-bound to look nice? I’m not saying it’s ugly, but [insert yo’ momma joke here]…

8. It won’t work on Macs. Hello Microsoft, us Mac-owners aren’t all lap dogs of the Jobs Empire, y’know. Some of us might’ve quite fancied buying a Zune, but apparently it won’t support Macs at launch, and the Zune Marketplace will be Windows-only too. Cheers for that.

9. It won’t work with Napster. Or, indeed, any digital music store that uses Microsoft’s own Plays For Sure DRM platform. D’oh!

10. They’re being a bit shifty about Zune’s battery life. This could mean it runs out of juice in 10 minutes unless used with the screen off and at 10% volume. Or it could mean it ships with futuristic fuel-cell batteries powered by rechargeable goblins, I suppose.

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12 comments

  • i dont now wts wrong w/ u ppl just some dude makin a living or what not , either way i liked his review thing i thought it was funny [ps. ewww brown >.<]

  • 5 replies to anti-microsoft fanboi.

    1-you do not like because bill gates is the reachest man, not any of you, whatever-but-no-ms guys.
    2-can not agree with how smart ms marketers and developers are.
    3-can not admit that none of you, fanboys, is smarter than ms guys to make something better.
    4-you get fucked as ms releases successful products whereas you guys were predicting ms to go down since windows98.
    5-you know why ms will not go down? cuz the number of desktops using cracked windows is greater than desktops using free linux, and bill gates knows that, and knows that this will keep windows being loved.

  • I think the whole no Mac support thing just shows how sour Microsoft can be. Its all a little bit childish and unprofessional if you ask me.

    I am a die hard Mac-user…. but still I dont see why Apple and Microsoft have to continue to slay each other. Its bad for both businesses.

  • This has no intellectual value: I happen to LIKE Brown mp3 players. So what if it’s the color of shit? It’s also the color of teddy bears and cute puppies and baked beans.

  • “The user can listen to the full song 3 times over 3 days.”

    ooooh how convenient!

    “Or will I have to buy them for the third time, having already repurchased all the ones I already got on iTunes?”

    If you right click any of the music in your itunes library you can click an option called convert to mp3 which might reduce the need to buy music over again… unless your an idiot.

  • Hi all, thanks for your comments, especially Zune-Online, who entered into the spirit of the original post! And yes, not sure where the 30-second Wi-Fi samples idea came from. I’ve corrected the piece, and put a separate story up here:

    //www.techdigest.tv/2006/09/one_less_reason.html

    As promised, 10 Reasons To Love Zune tomorrow (Thursday). All of them 100% factually correct. Probably.

  • It isn’t 30 second song clips that get transfered in WiFi sharing. Everything gets transferred fully. The only limitation is the 3 plays, 3 days thing.

    Do your research next time…

  • And some replies:

    1) 30 GB: This is enough for music. You can store hunderds of music files in there. How many full movies will you watch in such a small screen. Buy a plasma TV. Use Zune for video clips and small videos.

    2) Zune name: Don’t read it, just point your finger at it (ET go home!).

    3) WiFi sharing: Who wants it ? I DO, I DO! Just remember that every laptop is Wifi enabled nowdays. Also don’t you like sharing your illegal downloads with other Zune owners? (I won’t tell it anoyone, don’t worry!)

    4) The brown Zune: Just “paint it black” if you like it better <== No Rolling Stones promotion here 🙂

    5) Closed Zune ecosystem: OK, nobody likes to know that his tracks will be useless for other devices. Although you can use MP3 without DRM.

    6) No games: Personally I don’t play games. It would be a nice feature though. Maybe in Zune 2.

    7) Zune Style: Minimal design. (minimalistic answer too!)

    8) Mac support: In the future there will be Mac support. Don’t you think Microsoft would like to sell Zune to Mac owners also? (Maybe with a free windows edition for theirs MACs!)

    9) Napster: No comment

    10) Battery life: Maybe we should ask a Zune proud owner. I can’t verify your battery rumors.

    So, I believe you have a point, but hate? You must be a very bad man to hate someone you don’t know 🙂

    Greetings
    — Zune-Online.com

  • Most of those reasons you have stated are only because you are a ‘pod fanatic. Yes it only has 30GB, but so does the Zen Vision:M and that sold. Many things are still to be confirmed, so wait until you have used one before you slag it off. 🙂

  • Next time, get your facts right.

    Also, about the Brown zune, a lot of people who’ve seen it IN PERSON seems to like it.

  • Zune or Zyoone or Zoon sucks!

    It’s all about the iPod, and Zune sucks specially because of not letting Mac users use the device, how unprofessional

    wow!

  • Some of your concerns are not factually accurate. The corrections:

    3. The sharing of songs applies to all songs wether you bought them through Zune or not. It is also a transfer of the full song, not 30 seconds. The user can listen to the full song 3 times over 3 days.

    10. The battery time shiftiness has nothing to do with it not being a very long batter y life and everything to do with continued tweaking of the firmware to squeeze every last minute of battery life out of the unit.

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