Good evening ladies and gentlemen and welcome once again to the dark, dank depths of the -32nd floor of Shiny Towers as we come to you live from the Technology Deathmatch Arena. Today’s edition of the specced up smack down is a real clash of the modern day mobile darlings.
Tickets were sold out for this one long ago and the touts have been doing a fine trade standing shifty in their sheepskins as member s of the technological gentry have brushed by, heads high in LED top hats and electroluminescent tails, eyes low buried deep in devices Tweeting this carnival atmosphere for the world to read.
The middle class punters rustle in their seats, uncomfortable in their too tight too new glad rags as flustered wives quibble with irate husbands. The rest scrabble for scraps from the touts, mug the lost and unfortunate on their ways to gates and scuttle on drainpipes and scurry along ledges to secure their one-eye view of the feast to come, because tonight, tonight is the first time the undisputed heavyweight champion of the mobile world might just lose his crown…
Good afternoon grappling fans and welcome to the inaugural Monday afternoon beat-up smackdown that is Technology Deathmatch. Coming to you live from a grimy basement deep in the bowels of Shiny Towers, sweat drips from the dank, brown-stained walls as clamours of Far-East businessmen shake fistfuls of foreign, red bills and driving the temperature to boiling point.
Headlining the event today is the much contested, much debated, much anticipated re-match grudge match that is the battle of the cameras. Yes, ladies and gentleman today it’s the big one, the shakedown, the pay off. In the blue corner with the dented spit bucket, founded in 1917, it’s the Mightiest of the Macros, the Stepper Supremo – Nikon!
And in the red corner – which used to be green but has become unrecognisable because of the coats of blood and guts – 20 years the junior, it’s the Prince of the Press Corps, the Colour King – Canon!
I’m your referee for the day and I expect a good clean fight. I don’t want to see any K-mounting, no aperture gauging and plenty of flash photography. Now, let’s get it on!…