I’ve done it. I’ve taken the final step. The final solution. The ultimate energy-saving measure! Never again will I consume a Watt of electricity or burn an ounce of carbon.

I am a zero-energy man. I am FREE from the SHACKLES of energy use. You hear that, Southern Electric? I’ve cancelled my direct debit.

I can now relax. And sleep. Although it gets a bit cold to sleep at night…