Rise of the Machines? Arnold Schwarzenegger quotes made into a programming language

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In a move that possibly provides the definition of “taking a joke too far”, four coders have decided to invent a new programming language… based on quotes by Arnold Schwarzenegger. Seriously.

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Wolfram Language it ain’t. ArnoldC, as it is known is built on Java/C and is only capable of executing a handful of functions. Each function, of course, is an Arnie quote.

So to do something basic, like display some text, rather than using “PRINT” or “ECHO”, like you might in a normal programming language, you instead issue the command TALK TO THE HAND (Terminator 3). IT’S SHOWTIME and YOU HAVE BEEN TERMINATED are used to denote the start and end of program code. Here’s the ArnoldC equivalent to “Hello World”, which is regularly used by coders as the most basic possible example of a program.

IT'S SHOWTIME
TALK TO THE HAND "Hello World"
YOU HAVE BEEN TERMINATED

It continues very much in this vain, as “BULLSHIT” is used instead of “ELSE” and conditional statements are ended with “YOU HAVE NO RESPECT FOR LOGIC” (quote from Twins).

To call a method, one has to “DO IT NOW” and of course, to “return” some data (as they say in programming languages), the command is “I’LL BE BACK”.

According to the section on Github, where the project has been posted, the motivation is as follows:

“Although the one-liners of Arnold Schwarzenegger are fairly well known the true semantics of the uttering is yet to be understood. This project tries to discover new meanings from the Arnold movies with the means of computer science.”

Right, of course it does.

Surprisingly, this isn’t the first joke programming language. When LOLcats were the in-thing a few years ago, Adam Lindsay, a researcher at Lancaster University came up with LOLCODE, which write computer code using the unique vocabulary and semantics of cats.

Here’s a simple LOLCODE program that counts to ten:

HAI
CAN HAS STDIO?
I HAS A VAR
IM IN YR LOOP
UP VAR!!1
VISIBLE VAR
IZ VAR BIGGER THAN 10? KTHX
IM OUTTA YR LOOP
KTHXBYE

Astonishingly, it was actually made (vaguely) useful – with people even making LOLCODE compilers, meaning programs could be turned into executable software, and a LOLCODE to Javascript converter was developed too.

You can find out more about ArnoldC here. And then question your life choices.

James O’Malley