Every time, regular as clockwork. Three months before any major new Tomb Raider video game release comes the celebratory appointment of a new flesh-based spokesmodel. And here she is.

That’s Alison Carroll, the meat-based Lara Croft. Be nice to her, she’s going to get quite a lot of stick off the internet before the end of the year, when Tomb Raider: Underworld comes out and she’s sent to the ex-models home with all the rest…