Top 5 choc-tastic and egg-citing Easter gadgets

IT'S Easter this weekend – so what better way to celebrate than with CHOCOLATE! Yes, it's the one time of the year we can all over-indulge without being accused of pigging out, well, assuming you don't go overboard and raid Woolworths on Monday for all those bargain-basement eggs that didn't sell in time for Easter Sunday.

Not that I've ever done that you understand (but you can get some egg-cedingly cheap deals). Oh no, the puns and jokes have started. Anyway, to help you get in the mood, here's our Tech Digest Top 5 Easter-related gadgets to get you really egg-cited. Sorry…

Now you can buy a hi-def player: the five best Blu-ray players

It’s been building up to a crescendo, with Toshiba’s announcement expected sometime this week that they are indeed pulling their support of the HD DVD format. At least the conclusion to this bloody battle will result in all of you finally being able to splurge your retirement money on a hi-def player, or upgrade your tired multi-format to one of these Blu-ray players.

So, in no particular order, here’s the top five best Blu-ray players, as voted by Tech Digest and HDTV-UK.

1.) Panasonic DMP-BD30 – this baby offers full 1080p playback, Final Standard Profile functionality, picture-in-picture, audio mixing, Panasonic’s P4HD technology, 1080/24 playback, HDMI 1.3B, Deep Colour compatibility, Dolby TrueHD and DTS-HD audio decoding, SD memory card slot, AVCHD codec, and EZ-Sync. £349, or $499.95, out now…

Top five crap Valentine’s Day colourways/products to get your loved loathed one tomorrow

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This happens but once a year, where companies feel compelled to spray-paint their products an embarrassing shade of red or pink in the hopes some daft fool will be forced to buy it at 5.42pm on the 14th of February, because Godiva and Charbonnel et Walker have run out of chocolates.

Here’s my top five pick of what not to buy someone for Valentine’s Day tomorrow. Not a single one. No-one. Just don’t do it. Get them some tins of Green Giant niblets instead.

1.) Sony VAIO CR notebook – an expensive present for your loved one, this red-painted laptop will set you back $1,000, however you can be safe in the knowledge your partner will slap you for insulting him/her with a red matching cover and heart-shaped key chain. What? You think they actually like Sony VAIOs?!….

Top 5 Gadget Sparklers for Bonfire Night

Remember, remember the 5th of the November – that's how the saying goes. Now Guy Fawkes, there was a man who knew a thing or too about making a statement. If only he'd have done it with his gadgets though and shown off his status with some bling, rather than trying to blow up the Houses of Parliament.

So, as it's Firework Night today, what better way to mark it than with five top sparklers from the techno-world. Unfortunately, not all of them can be waved around in the air and they don't make pretty colours in the smoke, but with gold and crystals on them, each one definitely costs more than a penny for the guy…

Top 5 gadgets for Jonny Wilkinson and the England Rugby World Cup team (for their match on Saturday night)

Erm, if you didn't know, there's some sporting thing happening tomorrow. The final of a rugby tournament I think it is, in Paris in France. Only joking, it's the Rugby World Cup Final tomorrow with Jonny Wilkinson leading our brave boys in the fight against South Africa to hold onto the trophy. COME ON!!

But just in case they need some help off-the-field, here's some technology that might give them a gee-up before the crucial tie…

Top five health-related gadgets for Lindsay Lohan now she's out of rehab. Sadly Madonna doesn't fit in a Chanel handbag…

lindsay-lohan-rehab.jpgDear Lindsay,

If the word on the street is correct, you left rehab on the weekend after two months of detoxing and avoiding your court order of one day in jail taking care of your mind, body and soul. Now, we’ve seen how easy it is to fall off the wagon once you leave rehab (Britney Spears, Pete Doherty and Amy Winehouse can surely attest to that), so it’s more important than ever to ensure you look after yourself, Lilo. That means no hard partying with Paris and Nicole, no more dangerous older men (unless you can snag Johnny Depp and pimp him to me occasionally), and please god, no more firecrotch flashes. I don’t think my stomach can cope with that anymore!

Surely you know how to use a mouse, so just click on the button below, saying ‘Continue reading’, otherwise get your assistant to do it for you, and read my top five gadgets for keeping healthy now you’re out of rehab. It’s for your own good Lindsay, and ours too – we’ve been rather enjoying reading about Britney’s downfall in the Metro newspaper every morning, and sadly there’s just not enough space for you anymore. Stop sobbing, and take a look below….

Apple in the dock: Top 5 iPhone lawsuits

apple-iphone-lawsuit.jpgApple has great lawyers. Top-notch. They’re so good, that even a brave, morally courageous blogger such as myself wouldn’t dare print allegations that Steve Jobs CENSORED his CENSORED while taking CENSORED and CENSORED his CENSORED. Several times!

Joking aside, though, Apple needs good lawyers, because as a large consumer tech company, it’s often the target of legal action – some flippant, some serious. iPhone has already caused its fair share of legal headaches, attracting several lawsuits already in its short life. Such as? Well…

1. The One About Price Discrimination. I reported on this at the weekend: New Yorker Dongmei Li is sueing Apple for price discrimination, underselling, discrimination in rebates, and deceptive actions. Why? On launch day, there were only 4GB iPhones by the time she reached the front of the queue, yet a couple of months later, that model was phased out and the 8GB model got a $200 price cut. Cue lawsuit. More info

Top 5 gadgets for David Cameron and the Conservative Party

It’s the Tory party’s political conference this week in Blackpool, and yes, you’re right – politics has no place on Tech Digest. But while the MPs are by the seaside, we thought it’d be a good time to check out a few gadgets for Dave Cameron and his mates.

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Lexon Roswell calculator

Now, any good Chancellor of the Exchequer has to be up on his numbers. And if George Osbourne wants to sit behind the door of No11 Downing Street then this might be worthy of his first purchase. As long as it’s not put on his state expenses!

Top 5 YouTube starlets: Mia Rose, Esmee Denters, Marie Digby and more…

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There’s a definite gender difference when it comes to musical YouTube popularity. The men who become hits tend to be the silly ones, miming to the Backstreet Boys or obscure Moldovan pop songs.

Meanwhile, the women who make it big through YouTube tend to be just talented singers uploading home videos of themselves singing cover versions or their own material. Okay, so they’re invariably young and attractive too, although that wouldn’t count for much if they couldn’t sing.