Game makers having a grey old time in LA town

Remember the days when video games were packed full of wincingly bright characters, sharp sunny backdrops and vivid primary colours. God, they were awful weren't they? I mean, what kind of acid trip were those designers on? Look outside – it's all asphalt and concrete, aluminium and corrugated steel, heavy clouds and lingering smog. Real life is a kind of kind of dirty vomit colour.

Top 10 tech treats I'd rather buy than an Apple iPhone 3G

Rubbish! That's what I reckon. iWhat? Sure, it's sexy little number but at what cost, I ask you? What cost? If you go for the cheapest iPhone 3G package, you're going to spend £639 over 18 months and that, my friends, is a lot of wonga.

Do you really want to spend all of that on a phone? My mobile bill over the same period is nearly half that at £360, and, let's examine the evidence here, while I receive a healthy 250 texts per month and a muscular 750 minutes, you get poxy 125 SMSs with the iPhone 3G and a minuscule 75 minutes and most of those will be taken up with "Can you call me back?"

No, the iPhone 3G package is all kinds of wrong. You don't want to buy one of those. Instead here are 10 other much better items that'll bring you far greater happiness and value for your hard slaved £639…

Gallery: UK iPhone 3G unboxed and ready to go

I'm lazy, and couldn't be bothered to go and queue at an O2 store this morning, so I had my iPhone 3G delivered. Arrived just before 10am.

Here's a gallery of the unboxing. Yes, they're all over the web, but not many have got the British mains plug, or my Facebook profile page. Gotta be worth something, I'd have thought.