PADDED LAMPPOST UPDATE: It was just a shameless PR stunt cooked up by the "hilarious" 118 118 crew

We knew it. We just KNEW IT. Something seemed wrong. Something about this update regarding padded lampposts for the protection of distracted texters seemed too strange. It seemed a little bit too much like the sort of thing the ad agency employed by 118 118 would come up with.

And it was. Bollocks. There’s nothing more sickening than the realisation that you’ve just fallen for a bloody bit of PR. Worst feeling in the world. I haven’t been this upset since Flopsy got run over in 1983.

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The 118 118-branded post pads were…

Nokia's DVB-H standard adopted by EU as official mobile phone TV format

Mobile phone TV, eh? The amazing-for-30-seconds flash-in-the-pan literally nobody cares about? Well, somebody cares. Nokia cares. And the European Union cares. Together, they have just announced that the DVB-H digital format is now the preferred format for mobile telly in Europe. Hooray!

What this means for us is we’re about to get bombarded with promotional images of mobile phones showing football clips on, as everyone thinks men watching football clips is the only way to sell TV services. Like this:

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Sorry this news is a bit dull and about digital TV formats…

EADS wants "production line" of space planes! Crack out the silver tracksuit – we will be in space soon

EADS, or the European Aeronautic Defence and Space Company, has said it can see a day when space travel becomes as routine as paying £17.99 to go via RyanAir to Amsterdam for a three-day stag-do.

“It will develop towards a classical aeronautical business model. Someone will build the planes; somebody will operate them; somebody will sell the tickets; somebody will provide the accommodation – like any tourism,” said Robert Laine, the chief technical officer of the rocket builder. A division of EADS called Astrium, which currently makes the Ariane rocket, reckons it’ll be knocking about 10 “space planes” a year to sell to operators.

Here’s an entirely unrelated photograph of the space shuttle Endeavour in which you can clearly see an astronaut’s iPod through the window:

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So hopefully, before we die, we’ll all get…

1.3megapixel Spy Camera Glasses – currently not illegal

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If you want some of these, you’d better buy them now before they get made illegal. Because they will be made illegal soon.

Available for a relatively cheap $99 from here, they’re ideal for causing loads of trouble this summer. The specs come with a little remote control, so all you have to do to take a picture of the innocent wildlife scene you’re currently enjoying is…

"Smart Goggle" will remember whether you put your keys in the oven or fridge while drunk last night

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The whole idea of Terminator/Predator style augmented vision is shaping up nicely in Japan right now, thanks to the efforts of another group of clever augmented-reality scientists.

The rather bulky set of glasses to the left there features a camera and display, with the camera feeding data to a clever – and apparently the “best yet” – object recognition system…

Nokia and Channel 4 teaming up to cross-promote brands and intellectual properties vis-a-vis capturing the critical youth demographic

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At least we think that’s what’s happening.

A new TV show called “The Nokia Green Room” will appear on Channel 4 later this year, with the mobile company sponsoring the 30-minute live music show.

The unique selling point that convinced executives on both sides of the table that this was a great idea? Putting cameras and microphones “backstage” so viewers…