This cannot be real. Please let it not be real. Oh god... it is real. It appears that someone's created a ring that fits over an erect penis allowing you to move it in four directions to control an Atari 2600 like a joystick. An optional secondary ring lets you stroke the shaft to simulate button presses.
Thankfully it's not commercially on sale, but full instructions to make your own are provided on SF Medialabs' website, including a guide on how to remove the shaft from the original joystick and replace it with a tissue dispenser. Handy.
Instructions (via CrunchGear)
More on joysticks: New Street Fighter joysticks are better than a hundred-hand-slap to the face | Thrustmaster T.16000M joystick
I've never been so happy NOT to have the Flash video plugin available. Honestly.
*Hugs the pen drive the browser is running from*