Apparently 95% of all email sent is spam, the experts say. Even my Gmail spam folder is creaking under the strain, but while going through it rescuing mis-filed CES press releases, at least there’s some spam emails that gave me a laugh. Here they are. And yes, sorry, many of them are genital-related.
“It’s a bird, it’s a plane, no its humungous new cock…”
Gain marks for Superman metaphor. Lose them again for missing apostrophe.
“Are you a real man?”
Nope, I’m a spambot too. Ha!
“Feel the joy of giving beautiful things for Christmas!”
Not to be rude, but do strange websites selling hooky watches via spam emails have guaranteed delivery dates in December?
“Turn your weewee into a real monster!”
No man who calls his penis a weewee deserves to ever be naked in bed with another human being.
“Каким будет Ваш сайт в 2008-м году?”
Well, that’s easy for you to say…
“Healthy person is not a myth!”
I’m a technology journalist in the midst of the December party season. I can assure you that it is.
“Your bigger dik will be your best friend now!”
Is this aimed at Dutch people? Also, my real best friend may scratch me from his Christmas card list if I ditch him for my own penis.
I mean, what?
“Your woman doesn’t want to have sex with you for reason of your male machine size”
Is this something about PS3?
“eaffirmative uairport watershed”
If I ever form a band, this is what they’ll be called…