Pre-Christmas fever is about to get into full swing in UK high streets – this weekend, I saw my first dancing/singing Santa mannequin of the year in Argos, while several other shops are rolling out their Winter Wonderland compilation CDs already.
Meanwhile, us consumers are busy compiling our Christmas lists, which are doubtless full of the latest gadgets and gizmos. But they shouldn’t be. Here’s ten sensible reasons why you shouldn’t be asking Santa for any high-tech toys this year.
1. You asked for lots of gadgets last Christmas. They’re still working.
2. You’ll spend valuable turkey-gobbling time on Christmas Day downloading “essential” firmware updates off the internetweb.
3. The excitement of unwrapping a gadget in 2007 won’t match your childhood glee at getting, say, an N64.
4. Even Santa can’t lay hands on a Wii this Christmas. For shame.
5. You won’t be able to charge new gadgets up, due to all plug sockets being used for your super-neon Vegas-style dancing snowmen on the roof.
6. Gadgets are expensive, confusing to non-techies, and not sold in M&S. Socks are the opposite of all these things. Your aunt knows this, but you should too.
7. You’ll have to watch friends and family cover your new device in gravy-smudged fingerprints and resist starting a row.
8. The prices will be slashed in the sales, and you’ll have the physical rush of elbowing fellow geeks out of the way to get the best bargains come Boxing Day.
9. There’s a 3G iPhone coming out next year. You can wait.
10. If you don’t ask for gadgets, you can ask for whisky instead. Whisky helps you forget about the lack of gadgets.