22
2007
Good news for anyone who spends their evenings in the bath pleasuring themselves with children's toys. Don't feign bafflement: I know what you did last summer with that Big Yellow Teapot.
Firebox is now selling its popular I Rub My Duckie "personal massager" in a bright pink edition, complete with feather boa and a Swarovski crystal embedded in the beak. It joins the original yellow version, and a smaller travel-size duckie.
The duck runs off a single AAA battery, and gently buzzes away in the bath, with a fully waterproof design that'll banish any fears of embarrassing electrocution. Obviously, the embarrassment would come when the newspapers report that you met your end at the hands of a rubber duck vibrator. Anyway, the pink 'Paris' I Rub My Duckie costs £14.95, and is on sale now.
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But the feather boa'll get ruined as soon as it hits the water! The designers should be sent back to the drawing board.